Friday, April 16, 2010

Chapter 20: In which some die, some don't, and some come back from the dead.

Something wasn't quite right.

"I think we should do it, Vi," said Sven.

"What are you talking about? He's crazy!" said Violet, glancing at Dr. Octopi, who was standing in the doorway still, a smug smile on his face. "Sven, he's trying to destroy our world!"

"Well," said Sven, "Maybe it's for the best. I mean, we can make a new life here, together! Wouldn't you like that? We could start over!"

"Sven, what is wrong with you? I don't want to start over! I want our old life back. I want the brother that's still down in there somewhere beneath your lab coat."

Sven brushed the folds out of his lapel, looking at his sister with a strange glance.

"That boy is gone Violet," he said. "I'm all that's left now."

Dr. Octopi chuckled. "Would you look at that. Sven has finally become the man I need. Maybe you should listen to him 'Vi,'" he said mockingly.

Violet frowned. It all seemed so wrong. Her brother had been much better to her since they had begun ESP-ing back and forth. That is, until he was captured, and then...

"Hang on a tic," said Violet. "How did you get here?" She pointed to Dr. Octopi. "He locked you up!" Sven looked down, his mouth moving as if to say something, but nothing came out.

"Oh," said Dr. Octopi quickly, "I let him out, of course. I need his help to fix the machine."

"Yes, that's it!" said Sven, raising a finger in overdone realization. "HE let me out. Of course." He grinned. Violet frowned.

"You see, I myself am part mirrorling," said Dr. Octopi, "as are all the beings here--this is why we can screech the way we do, you see--and as such, my anti-matter cannot react with the matter of the Collider. I tried originally to fix it myself, but I caused even more damage by simply touching the parts. Thus the purple glow." He smiled mischievously. "This is why I brought you both here in the first place, remember? Though I didn't mean to bring you--"

Violet heard a noise in the corner. She glanced over to investigate. Dr. Gerstein was stirring. She turned quickly back to Dr. Octopi, who hadn't broken stride.

"--so now your own brother is begging you to fix it, Violet. Please, help us. We cannot do it without you."

"He says I'm not allowed to touch the machine, Vi, so you'll have to do it." Sven looked down like a dejected kid.

"Why can't--" began Violet.

"That's not important now," said Dr. Octopi. I need you to walk toward the Collider now and do exactly what I tell you."

Sven nodded encouragement. Violet stood still for a moment.


"It's ok," he said.

Violet felt tears well up in her eyes as she turned toward the machine. She was about to destroy everything she had ever known and loved, at the urging of this person that used to be her brother. She took a step forward...

...and jumped backward to avoid the blast that came from the gun in the prostrated Dr. Gerstein's hand. The shot hit Sven squarely in the face, and his head exploded in a geyser of red. Violet rushed to Sven's headless body as it fell to the floor.

"No!" she cried. She knelt by the body's side, shocked. She heard a cry from the corner.

"Violet! I'm so sorry, I did the best I could!" yelled Dr. Gerstein in a weak voice. "Don't help him!" He slouched. "Don't help him..."

Dr. Octopi silenced him with a powerful blast that would have destroyed a brick wall, and Dr. Gerstein was no more. Violet looked down at the body and saw an almost imperceivable shimmer. A mirrorling.

"You lied!" she said, glaring at Dr. Octopi.

"Did you expect anything else?" He shrugged. "'Mad scientist,' Violet."

"But it didn't work! I will never help you."

"Well maybe I won't get you to help me that way," he said, "but you WILL help me nonetheless. To the Collider!" Violet whimpered.

Just then a ripping sound rent the air, followed by the acrid smell of sugar cookies and a cloud of thick purple smoke. From the cloud, Violet saw two figures emerging.

The first was Sven. The real Sven. He smiled at Violet, and she looked at him quizzically.

"Billy broke me out," he said. He winked at her.

"It's alright, Vi. I'm here now," she heard in her head. "And I'm sorry." His expression softened. "I've been an ass."

She smiled through her tears and thought back. "Apology accepted."

Then the second person stepped out of the fog. It was Billy. His eyes were blazing like a furnace, his fists clenched by his sides and glowing the same purple glow as the Collider.

"Hello doctor," he said in a calm voice that chilled Violet to the core.

"Billy! I didn't expect you so soon, I have to confess," said the doctor.

"Well, expect me or not, here I am Octopi. And it's time you payed for what you did to me. What you did to my family." Billy's hands began to glow brighter. The light began to take shape, and Violet gasped.

"Are those..."

"Katanas?" said Sven (the real one). "Yeah, probably."

Dr. Octopi grinned, his own hands beginning to glow in a similar fashion. The light in his hands soon took shape as a gatling gun.

"Never bring a knives to a gun fight, Billy," said Dr. Octopi, chuckling, but for the first time, Violet saw real fear in his eyes. "I have been looking forward to this fight a long time. The creator versus the creation, kind of poetic don't you--"

But Billy didn't let him finish. He sprinted to the left and ran up the wall into a double backflip, chased by millions of blasts of energy from Octopi's gun.


He was near the Collider, spinning through a double B-twist. Octopi's bullets whizzed through the air. Violet and Sven dropped to the ground.


Billy was by Dr. Gerstein's body.


He was by Shawty, who began to stir.


He was behind Dr. Octopi, who was firing wildly at nothing.

With one swift motion, Billy rammed the katanas into Octopi's chest from behind, who gasped and stopped firing. Violet looked away as Billy ripped the swords upward through his enemy's shoulders. Octopi's body thudded to the ground.

"зовлонт үхэл," said Billy. "May death linger here, and not return what has been given it." He raised his head and closed his eyes. "My family is avenged."

Violet looked up at Sven. He ran to her and pulled her into a bear hug.

"I'm so sorry for treating you like I did Sven, I was just angry at you for being so distant and insensitive all the time."

"It's alright, I was angry at you for being a selfish hag."

Violet pulled away and looked up at Sven, who was grinning.

"Joking," he said. "I'm sorry too, Vi."

"Maybe we could hang out more?" she said.

Sven stared into the distance for a moment before responding with a smile. "Yes, I think I'd like that."

"Don't get your hopes up too soon," said Shawty as he sat up and held his head. "Look!"

The cloud of smoke had cleared. Hiding in its folds had been Robert Nickel putting the finishing touches on the Collider. He typed in a last string of code and shut the hatch. The machine hummed to life.

"No!" cried Violet.

"For science!" cried Robert Nickel. Billy threw a katana like a bolt of lightning, but he wasn't fast enough. Before the blade buried itself in his face, Nickel had just enough time to press the "initiate" switch. The machine began humming.

"Oh my..." said Sven. "There goes our world. It was all for nothing!"

"Don't worry, Sven," Violet said, "we can live here with Billy and Shawty. Right?"

"I'm afraid not," said Billy. "This world is tied to yours by time. This 'dimension' is your world in the future. If the Collider destroys Earth then, Earth now will cease to exist. All will be lost."

"Well, can we stop it?" said Shawty.

"Hmmm," said Billy, scratching his chin. "Wait, I have an idea. We have to stop it in your time. I have some new friends that might be willing to help us."

He walked forward toward the ever-more-loudly humming machinery and a vortex opened, spilling purple smoke and the same burning smell.

"Shawty, see if you can clean up here. Sven and Violet, follow me. I'll explain everything when we get there."

Sven grabbed Violet's hand and the two of them followed Billy into the purple fog.


  1. Hey guys!

    I tried to wrap most of the plot up, leaving the destruction of the Collider to Grace and the resolution to Allana. Octopi is dead (hooray!), but the story's not over yet!

    Grace, I tried to leave you an opener. Good luck!


  2. Great chapter! I love the relationship between Sven and Violet. Finally, things get resolved. Billy is freaking awesome. Good riddance, Octopi.

    I love the image of blood rushing like a geyser from fake-Sven's head. Just saying.

    Oh, Robert Nickel. For science? Crazy, delusional guy.

    I love Sven's admission via ESP. Very nice.

  3. I was really glad to see Sven and Violet's relationship coming to the forefront again. As Scott mentioned, the confession via ESP was a nice touch and completely in character.

    Your choices on who to kill and how they died were just right. The comic book feel was nicely executed and appropriate for our historic/futuristic fight. The gatling gun was perfect for Dr. O. And let me just say, Billy is AMAZING. If only he weren't significantly older...

  4. maybe in the past he is... ;)

  5. Fantastic job at tying everything up. I really liked having the Sven in the lab be "fake Sven." Great job!
    Billy really becomes a nice hero here in the end, and I think Dr. Octopi and Nickel's deaths were appropriately hideous. Very Impressive!

  6. Great work! I'm glad to see that you explained some things like that the alternate world is in the future and why Dr. Octopi can't work on the machine himself. Nice work in killing Dr. O; it was about time! Now we can focus on saving the planet since Violet and Sven's relationship is stable and Dr. O is dead.

  7. Yeah, it was super late when I commented last night, so my thoughts were a little disjointed. :D
    But yeah, I'm still loving it! I'm very impressed with everyone's work on this project. I'm pumped about the next chapter!

  8. This was great! Good tying up. I'm also glad that you cleared up Sven & Violet's relationship. The ESP was a nice touch. I agree with Allana that you killed everyone nicely, and the fake Sven was also clever. I don't think Dr. O was very good at clones who knew what was going on, was he?

    You left the ending very open! I have ideas, and I'm going to have the chapter up by tomorrow evening (I have work). Sorry it's a day late!

    Scott-I'm tying some Red Lobster in for you.

  9. Awesome work!

    Great job clearing up Sven and Violet's long relationship.

    Also, good job with the kills. They didn't seem forced or anything.

    Now there's room for saving planet earth!

  10. Really great chapter. You were able to creatively tie up all the loose ends and have a touching sibbling moment without slowing down any of the action. I love the death match and the direction you've put our story in!

  11. Grace- Yay! :D Red Lobster is the stuff.

  12. Awesome job Shane! I think that you did a wonderful job with the fight scene between Dr. O and Billy... the way you formatted it with the "CRASH"es was very appropriate and definitely gave the feel of him jumping around abrputly. Great work!
    I also think you did a good job of tying up the relationship between Sven and Violet. It was very useful to show "fake Sven" and Violet's mistrust and confusion... it shows that she's grown to trust her brother more throughout their time together in the future. Overall, I think you did a wonderful job of giving further explanation while providing us with some much-needed action! :)

  13. Wow.

    I thought it was extremely clever that you used Doppelsven to explain the oversight committed in my chapter... I forgot Sven was in shackles.

    Loved poor Dr. Nickel's demise.

    LOVED the action sequences, and Billy's Mongolian eulogy.

    Hooray for this novel.

    Katanas? Yeah, probably.

  14. Love that Sven and Violet's relationship is finally good--Billy is amazing, obsessed with him! Happy you tied up the loose ends- great chapter!