Saturday, March 27, 2010

Chapter 5: Dreams, Nightmares, and Sven

“Violet, look alive,” said Sylvia, tossing the cigarette butt onto the ground. “Our table’s ready.”
Violet struggled to steady herself. She looked up and saw a neon sign indicating that she’d arrived at Red Lobster. But for some reason, she couldn’t help but think of Sven. Was there something she needed to recall? She decided it was nothing.
“Have I mentioned,” said Sylvia, opening the door for Violet, “that Red Lobster is my favorite restaurant?”
“Countless times,” Violet responded, walking toward the hostess with the eager grin on her face.
“I’m a fan of the wood-grilled shrimp,” said Sylvia. “I’m a seafood nut.” The word “seafood” made Violet feel unsteady for a brief moment.
“Your table’s ready,” said the hostess with enthusiasm. “Follow me, and I’ll seat you.” Violet noticed her nametag and saw that her name was Phyllis.
“Certainly, Phyllis,” said Violet. She immediately couldn’t believe she’d said it.
Phyllis seated the pair in the back portion of the restaurant. At the table to their left was a disappointed child at her eighth birthday party, and at the table to their right was a teenage girl crying with her father.
“I thought we might find you a man here,” said Sylvia, studying the beverage menu.
“I’m not sure I need a man right now.”
“Why not?” cried Sylvia. “Loosen up a bit, Violet. You’re at Red Lobster, for crying out loud.”
Violet nodded. “So how long does it normally take for a waiter to come take our drink order?”
“I’m usually impressed by how speedy the waiters are,” Sylvia answered. “They’ve never let me down in the past.”
Violet craned her neck and looked over at the girl at the birthday party. She’d asked for books for her birthday, but her mother had given her only clothes – a striped sweater, a pair of tube socks, and a tutu to make ballet class possible. Her mother had decided that books weren’t feminine enough for her daughter.
“Violet, what would you like to drink?” asked Sylvia. Violet turned and saw the waiter, whose name was Dartagnion according to his nametag.
“I’ll have a margarita,” said Violet after quickly perusing the beverage menu.
“That’s right,” Sylvia said. “You need a margarita. You need to calm down. You’re always so worked up about something.”
“Sorry, Sylvia.”
Sylvia laughed. “Don’t apologize to me! Apologize to yourself. You’re holding yourself back.”
“Am not.”
“Are too,” said Sylvia, watching the waiter as he walked away.
Violet frowned. “Sylvia, he’s a little young for you.”
“He has to be eighteen,” Sylvia said. “And that’s enough for me.”
“Not for me. I…have standards.”
“Is that right?” asked Sylvia. “You’re single because you have high standards?”
“More or less,” said Violet, peering over at the teenage girl to her right. Her father had been yelling at her about her refusal to take life seriously. Or something like that, anyway. She’d told him that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the career path she wanted to take. She’d told him that she was passionate about her potential career. She’d told him that passion was what really mattered. He’d said no, and she just hadn’t been able to hold it in any longer.
“He’s too old for you,” said Sylvia, smiling.
“Shut up.”
Sylvia turned her head. “I’m just trying to get you to laugh, Violet. You need something to make you laugh.”
“Crap,” said Dartagnion, who was approaching their table. He’d spilled one of the margaritas, and it seemed to make a gurgling noise as it dripped onto the floor. “Can someone clean this up?”
“On second thought,” said Sylvia, “he doesn’t seem mature enough for me.”
“I see. You’re clearly much more refined than he is.”
“Is that sarcasm, Violet?” asked Sylvia. “See what I mean? You’re too uptight.”
“And how, pray tell, do you suggest I remedy that?” asked Violet.
“Find some romance,” responded Sylvia. “Just like I’ve been telling you for the past half-hour.”
“And that’ll make me loose?”
Sylvia shook her head. “No. It will make you happy. It’s good to be happy.”
Violet looked to her left and her right. “I’m not saying I don’t want to be happy, Sylvia, it’s just…”
“What? Still mourning?”
“No,” said Violet firmly. “I just…I like having my independence.”
“You don’t have to be tied down to one man!” said Sylvia. “That’s the beauty of it.”
Violet coughed. “I hardly think I qualify as one of those kinds of women.”
“Violet, I’ve had it with you,” Sylvia said. “You’re stressing me out. I’m going to need a smoke break.”
“When will you ever quit smoking?” asked Violet, looking up at Sylvia as she stood.
“When you stop being a damn stick-in-the-mud,” Sylvia replied. She pushed in her chair, walked past the fish tank, and exited the restaurant.
Violet sat and read over her menu. She was trying to choose between the Admiral’s Feast, which included shrimp, scallops, and clam strips, and the Seaside Shrimp Trio, which included shrimp of three varieties. Sylvia was right about one thing, and that was that the wood-grilled shrimp looked to be simply marvelous. Then again, the scallops and clam strips looked rather appetizing as well…but then the question was whether Violet wanted to eat a lot of shrimp – of three varieties, of course – or shrimp in addition to clams and scallops.
“Violet.”
Violet looked up. Sven was standing behind the chair on the other side of the table.
“What do you want?” she asked, rapping her fingers on the menu to make herself look busy and important.
Sven repeated her name. “Violet.”
“Yes, that’s very cute,” said Violet. “But shouldn’t you be firing protons or something like that?”
“Violet, can you hear me?”
“Of course I can hear you,” Violet responded. “The better question is can you hear me? Or are you even listening? I don’t know why you’ve always felt you have the right to act this way. You’re no better than anyone else. Yes, we get it. You like science. Who…”
“Violet, please wake up,” said Sven.
Violet laughed. “Sven, why don’t you just leave? I’m obviously awake. I’m waiting on Sylvia to come back inside. She’s on a smoke break. I stressed her out.”
“Violet!” Sven reached across the table and slapped her.
Violet saw nothing but black, no matter where she looked.
“It’s alright,” she could hear Sven saying. “We’re not under the water anymore. Assuming, of course, that was water…”
Violet slowly opened her eyes and saw Sven’s face directly above hers.
“This…this isn’t Red Lobster…”
“No, it isn’t,” said Sven, “but I’ve been listening to you babble about it for the past fifteen minutes.”
“You didn’t wake me up?”
“I’ve been trying, obviously,” said Sven.
Violet looked around. They were in the forest, but the tidal wave had cleared, and they didn’t appear to be in any danger at the moment.
“The wave receded,” Sven explained. “As far as I can tell, it’s cyclical. I refuse to believe it sensed our presence and acted to capture us.”
“Isn’t that inside-the-box thinking?” asked Violet, pulling herself up.
“How dare you.” Sven turned away from Violet to look toward the coast. “I’m a scientist. I never think inside the box.”
“But refusing to believe something outright? Quite unlike you.”
Sven raised an eyebrow. “Have you ever encountered conscious waves before?”
“No,” said Violet, “but I’ve never seen someone impaled by a park bench who lived to tell the tale.”
“Hmm,” said Sven. “I suppose your reasoning is sound.”
Above them the foreign creatures that resembled a “barrel of monkeys” were dancing through the treetops (or tree-bottoms), apparently aware of the direction they were headed.
Sven looked up at them when they chirped. “They seem to know what they’re doing. Perhaps we should follow them?”
“Your reasoning is sound,” said Violet. “Assuming, of course, that you want to get out of the forest.”
“Well, the stranger on the coast told us there was a clearing inside the treeline,” said Sven, stroking his chin. “And that’s apparently where we are supposed to be heading. You know, since we’d like to escape the vortex that we’ve been absorbed into.”
“Is ‘absorbed’ really the right word for that?”
“The process of entering the vortexes hasn’t had much scientific documentation, for obvious reasons,” replied Sven. “So, as a scientist, I’m declaring ‘absorbed’ the proper word in this context.”
Violet finally was standing, fully awake. “And you have the authority to do that?”
“Well, I’m knowledgeable in the matter. It felt like we were absorbed. Wouldn’t you say so?”
Violet looked up at the foreign creatures, which had paused nearly directly above the siblings. “I suppose. So what’s your scientific explanation for those?”
Sven glanced upward. “You know, I still am not certain. Bearing in mind that this is for all intents and purposes an alternate reality…”
“For all intents and purposes?”
Sven eyed his sister. “Well, can a scientist ever be certain? Anyway, I’d like to say I have a definite answer, but I just don’t at this point. All I’ve got is speculation.”
“Let’s just follow them,” said Violet. The round creatures started moving through the treetops.
Sven nodded. “You’re right, of course. All the best scientists are willing to take chances. And clearly I’m meant to be a great scientist.”
“Clearly,” Violet murmured. She wondered if Sylvia had gotten back from her smoke break yet. And had Dartagnion ever brought another margarita? At this point, she thought she needed as many margaritas she could have.

15 comments:

  1. I love the Red Lobster banter... It's nice to hear from Sylvia again. So we've got flying monkeys a la Wizard of Oz... Will they be forces of good or evil? Where are we going next? Will our heroes get captured despite Billy Witch Doctor's admonitions? What sort of topsy turvy society exists in this topsy turvy world? I'm going to try to answer some of these questions in Chapter Six.

    If anyone coming up this week wants me to set them up for a spike, let me know what you're thinking. I have a few ideas of how to tie the real world back in, and I'm thinking Chapter Six should be pretty straightforward since we just came out of a dream sequence.

    I choose clam strips. - Trent

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  2. Like the dream sequence idea. It made me really wonder about Violet's past. Does she have such trouble with relationships because of her family life or does it come from friends or boyfriends?
    I enjoyed seeing Sylvia again :)
    I think we need to give Sven a little more depth soon too.

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  3. I definitely think Sven is going to need some more depth. I tried to start that here, with the friction between the siblings. Perhaps it has a lot to do with their parents? I think Sven has always been the favorite, and he's embraced the role. Still, I think there's a lot of insecurity with him. There's a lot to be explored.

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  4. I love the dream sequence- just like a good Bollywood film! The two girls with their parents are also really interesting. I got the feeling that they could have been scenes from Violet's past.

    I too believe Sven needs depth soon. A way to work in Violet as an assassin should probably be coming up soon (? I don't really know how many chapters we have total so that could be wrong)

    "I’m a scientist. I never think inside the box."

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  5. Allana, that's what I was going for with the girls in the restaurant. I didn't come out and say it, but I tried to give enough detail for you to read between the lines.

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  6. Thanks for bringing Sylvia back! I'm ready to see more from Sven...and maybe more dream sequence. Great post!

    p.s. I'm with Trent on the clam strips.

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  7. Good job! I like the idea of incorporating the two girls in the restaurant as flashbacks from Violet's life. I also like the idea of using Violet's love life as part of the inner conflict. You did a good job with creating the tension between Violet and Sven; the sarcasm was funny.

    Everyone's done a good job of setting up the characters and the setting, now it's time to encounter more people or have some sort of action other than the beach to get the plot moving along.

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  8. This was fantastic. The dream sequence was executed nicely. I could tell (or thought, and now know) that the girls were Violet in the past, and I love how easily that gave insight to her character. Fantastic! I have an idea about the wave/patrol, if we keep it as the patrol...perhaps it could have gained information about the two of them when it swept them up?

    I agree about Sven needing some more development. run with it Trent!

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  9. Genius. The Red Lobster scene was well-thought, funny, and provides us insight on Violet's life and events that have shaped her relationships with her parents. Now what about Sven? Where does he come in? Are his relationships similar or different? How does this affect their sibling relationships?
    I'm also intrigued by these critters. What are they!? Do they lead Sven and Violet astray? Are they trustworthy?
    I agree with April... the action needs to be moving along and getting us to our key conflict.
    Great job carrying on the sarcastic, dry humor!

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  10. Also, where does the LHC come in??

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  11. I really enjoyed the red lobster dream; it was fantastic, and you did a really good job bringing Sylva back.

    I agree with Allana. Violet should probably be working toward becoming an assassin, and maybe we could see some of her jui-jitsu moves, soon.

    I also agree that we need to learn more about Sven and his past and how the LHC affects the story.

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  12. Excellent work Scott. I forgot this was going to be a dream sequence at first, so I was really disoriented. But I suppose that's a compliment, because I'm always disoriented when I dream. I liked the layers added yet again to Sven and Violet's relationship.

    The background on Violet was nicely woven in as well, but I feel like you brought it in and then didn't follow through, like it's there now but you didn't do anything with it.

    Looking forward to some assassinous things, flying monkeys, societies bent on capturing our protagonists, and maybe the LHC in chapter 6. Can't wait, Trent!

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  13. I assumed that someone would take note and explore it more deeply. As it's her dream, it wouldn't spell out her past in clear terms like you seem to be asking for. It's a representation-- a suggestion -- of what's happened to her. We've got plenty of room to delve into that a little deeper later on.

    The title of the chapter has the word 'dreams' in the title. How did you miss it? Haha.

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  14. Oh, I saw it lol. I meant that you revealed it in the dream and then didn't play on it in reality. It seems like there should be a reason for bringing it up, y'know? I guess you could leave that to someone else, I just thought it would have been nice to see it sooner. It's not a huge issue.

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  15. Great job! I enjoyed the flashback/dream sequence--I thought something a bit more concrete could have happened in terms of getting to know why Violet is the way she is? Sylvia asked her if she was still mourning? Did Violet have a bad break up? The description of Red Lobster was really fun and well written

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